BAD RELATIONSHIP ADVICE WE GET FROM FRIENDS

Here is me with my 2 cents-worth thought..

When you find that special someone and know that both of you have a probable long term relationship and not 'Rebounding', hang on to it and fight for it because there is nothing as therapeutic as finding the person that you trust, love and you feel comfortable around.We all have dreams but accomplishing all those dreams without someone to share them with, would all be nothing..we need something real,something that's forever, something visible in order for all these dreams to matter.

Picture from Cliparts.co

The truth is that it is not always breakfast in bed when you are in a relationship/marriage. After the 'romance stage' in a relationship comes 'the power struggle' where your relationship can look like anything but happy. Engaging in all sorts of disagreements from what commitment means to both of you to trust and boundaries issues. The fights however do not mean that love has left the building and they are not supposed to break you but rather grow the two of you as a couple. As the Kikuyu people would put it; 'mathanwa me kiondo kimwe matiagaga gukong'orania' ('axes in the same basket cant avoid knocking on each other').
 

Picture from Alfred Jarry's Ubu Roi

When our relationships start derailing from the tracks we had created in our minds, most of us turn to our friends for venting.Venting out is good from time to time but not as useful if you are not bringing it out with your partner. If you only vent out negative things about your partner, your friends might start resenting him and seeing only the bad side of him. Then they will start telling you what they think you want to hear. They will justify your name-calling and foot-stomping and blame it all on him. This only helps to propagate the cycle of hate.

I know most of you would disagree with me here but the truth is our friends are not the best people we should be getting relationship advice from! When you start getting relationship hiccups, quit listening to what the world is telling you; instead, listen to yourself before commenting or taking any action that would in future be regretable. Discover the power in you. You hear a lot when you listen to yourself. There is no one but you who can put a finger to who you really are. Your friends can describe your problems, however, when it comes to who you really are and what you truly need that is something you have to figure out yourself. And you can only do this if you take time to listen to yourself.

Like the saying goes, If you don't stand for something you will fall for anything, and we have all had our shares of friends (even relatives) who, when your relationship is on shaky grounds, instead of advising you to work on it, they will tell you to end the relationship, terming it as unhealthy.

Their way or the highway?

So don't just Stand there!

Create that state of motion, hit  the highway my dearest, burn some rubber... WALK ON! Work on your relationship. If it is broken, fix it. Don't throw it away.

It is good to talk to our friends. I encourage that. But choose the right friends. Know that there are things to blow the steam off about and those that are very private and personal.When sharing your day-to-day frustrations with your friends, intersperse them with the awesome things your partner is about.

                                                              .You know,.. Create a balance..

Humility is Better Than Regret.
Nyakenya Wairimu

Pictures credits to DRIX of Drix Photography
With me in the pictures is the beautiful Vanessa Georgia