NYAKENYA WAIRIMU

Friday, 4 September 2015

NATURALLY FLAWED

Self esteem is something that we all have but in different forms. We have low self esteem because we lack confidence in ourselves and we choose to focus on things that are way out of our inner lives. We focus too much on the shortcomings of our families/parents, we spend too much time comparing our lives with those of others and doing things to seek their approval and attention instead of appreciating the enormous privileges we have in life.

Annette J Dunlea

We are not God and no human being is perfect. Those people you are comparing yourself to, just like you, are imperfect. So let go of that perfection mentality that is paralyzing your efforts and preventing you from learning. Embrace your flaws and unlock the potential of unlimited happiness. Experience your feelings don't suppress them. At the end of it all, all you need to do is try.

Chapstick Chatter

Am not coming to you as a perfect soul with no flaws telling you how to live your lives;. just like you, I am imperfect. I am that type of a person who always wants to get things right the first time I try. Constantly I have felt challenged in my relationships because I expect perfection from people in my circles but am now discovering new ways of seeing the world.

I know that 'life is not a rehearsal' and that 'there is nothing like an ideal way to live' so I'll be living each day as if it is my last. I have no time to grieve over losses or flaws because life itself is thoroughly broken!.

I'll be burning the rubber for I know there is much learning to do ahead.....


Nyakenya Wairimu Naturally Flawed!.

Thursday, 13 August 2015

KEEP YOUR DATING OPTIONS OPEN!

Gone are the days where when we used to receive handwritten love letters on our P.O Box. . We have now graduated to Facebook Twitter, Instagram to mention but a few.We now communicate through calls, texts, emails, picture likes and comments on Facebook and Instagram or the Direct Mails on our twitter and Instagram. This days, it is easy to tell when we have been on the minds of our suitors and also exes. Research states that 88% of both men and women stalk their exes on social media. Through those random sometimes constant likes you get from your ex on your Instagram Facebook pictures, The 'hi how have you been' messages on your D. That is for the bold exes because most stalk quietly.

Piscture courtesy of Kenya Post Office

Just curious,What comes to your mind when you get those constant likes on every picture you post from your ex?...what comes on my mind,'this is the guy who finds hard to let go'. People, especially men no longer cut ties with their past lovers. They leave their 'options open'... you know just in case their current relationship fails, they have some safe haven where they take their solace. This has negatively affected most love relationships. No matter how hard we try to hide it, the truth always has a way of coming out.

We belong to the days and times where people overwhelmingly prefer reversible decisions to irreversible ones. This could be due to the fear of commitment or just our ways of avoiding commitment that we think could be difficult and impossible to undo. It is now ten times harder to tell which romantic connections are genuine and which are not. You have found your 'one and only' and have started dating only to later find out that he is the kind that keeps track of all his past relationships and has his up-to-date 'likes' on their pictures.

Picture from Napi Angol

What would you do? 'Keep your options open' as well! ara!
Disengage your focus from that one person and distribute elsewhere... things that make you feel warm and wonderful inside. Treat yourself to the things you love... it could be buying yourself things that make you feel beautiful... going to places that you've always wanted to go or better still, keeping dating other men!. Continue flirting with them and accepting their dinner/coffee dates.

Picture courtesy of Whisper.sh

Most would disagree with this but it actually helps you figure out what you want or don't want from a future relationship. It makes you the chooser and not the chaser!... free and not desperate. It is very hard to see the red flags when there is only one man in the horizon. Before you settle down to a relationship you have to be sure he has what you are looking for in a partner. So, optimize your chances and plunge right into it. Get over those hesitant steps you take after every five minutes, sick and worried, wondering what it is he could be doing. In other words, get over your insecurity.

Dont Forget The Eyeliner

P.S
This is to both Men and women. If you have found your 'one and only', have an understanding of their feelings, let go of the flirts with your exes on your Whatsapp, Facebook and Instagram because it will only dilute your energy and focus from your current relationship. Keeping contacts with your exes bruises trust, especially if you are doing it in secret. I repeat; No matter how hard you try to hide it, the truth always has a way of coming out. Good, secure and trusting relationship rests upon a foundation of TRUST

Nyakenya Wairimu

Wednesday, 5 August 2015

BAD RELATIONSHIP ADVICE WE GET FROM FRIENDS

Here is me with my 2 cents-worth thought..

When you find that special someone and know that both of you have a probable long term relationship and not 'Rebounding', hang on to it and fight for it because there is nothing as therapeutic as finding the person that you trust, love and you feel comfortable around.We all have dreams but accomplishing all those dreams without someone to share them with, would all be nothing..we need something real,something that's forever, something visible in order for all these dreams to matter.

Picture from Cliparts.co

The truth is that it is not always breakfast in bed when you are in a relationship/marriage. After the 'romance stage' in a relationship comes 'the power struggle' where your relationship can look like anything but happy. Engaging in all sorts of disagreements from what commitment means to both of you to trust and boundaries issues. The fights however do not mean that love has left the building and they are not supposed to break you but rather grow the two of you as a couple. As the Kikuyu people would put it; 'mathanwa me kiondo kimwe matiagaga gukong'orania' ('axes in the same basket cant avoid knocking on each other').

Picture from Alfred Jarry's Ubu Roi

When our relationships start derailing from the tracks we had created in our minds, most of us turn to our friends for venting.Venting out is good from time to time but not as useful if you are not bringing it out with your partner. If you only vent out negative things about your partner, your friends might start resenting him and seeing only the bad side of him. Then they will start telling you what they think you want to hear. They will justify your name-calling and foot-stomping and blame it all on him. This only helps to propagate the cycle of hate.

I know most of you would disagree with me here but the truth is our friends are not the best people we should be getting relationship advice from! When you start getting relationship hiccups, quit listening to what the world is telling you; instead, listen to yourself before commenting or taking any action that would in future be regretable. Discover the power in you. You hear a lot when you listen to yourself. There is no one but you who can put a finger to who you really are. Your friends can describe your problems, however, when it comes to who you really are and what you truly need that is something you have to figure out yourself. And you can only do this if you take time to listen to yourself.

Like the saying goes, If you don't stand for something you will fall for anything, and we have all had our shares of friends (even relatives) who, when your relationship is on shaky grounds, instead of advising you to work on it, they will tell you to end the relationship, terming it as unhealthy.

Their way or the highway?


So don't just Stand there!

Create that state of motion, hit the highway my dearest, burn some rubber... WALK ON! Work on your relationship. If it is broken, fix it. Don't throw it away.

It is good to talk to our friends. I encourage that. But choose the right friends. Know that there are things to blow the steam off about and those that are very private and personal.When sharing your day-to-day frustrations with your friends, intersperse them with the awesome things your partner is about.

.You know,.. Create a balance..

Humility is Better Than Regret.
Nyakenya Wairimu

Pictures credits to DRIX of Drix Photography
With me in the pictures is the beautiful Vanessa Georgia

Wednesday, 22 April 2015

NAIROBI JOY BRINGERS

Mombasa raha.Nairobi je?

Jam packed I would say.

There is always something happening somewhere in Nairobi every day of the week. Apart from the usual Nairobi night life that involves getting freaky with friends in the night clubs and the restaurants for the foodies and those who love their coffee.There are also some exciting joints that you should add to your list if you haven't by now.

So ladies and gentlemen, lovers and promoters of art, die hards of 'support Kenya buy Kenyan' mantra and you who is just looking for a place to engage with your friends while making new ones,these are just a few of the events where you should be spotted enjoying the fruits of your labor.

I WILL NOT BE SILENCED

The 19th edition of PAWAFilmForum partnering with She Is Nairobi Campaign will be screening 'I Will Not Be Silenced' documentary followed by discussions led by Charlotte Campbell-Stephen .

THE JAZZ FIX

Hosted by Jazz guitarist extraodinaire Eddy Grey, The Jazz Fix happens every Saturday at Ventana Restaurant in Westlands. It's an event that presents live and unplugged sessions with variety of talented jazz and fusion musicians.

On it's 16th edition, this coming Saturday 25th of April 2015, The Jazz Fix presents The Aaron Rimbui Group on this special UNESCO International Jazz day event.

The show starts at 7:30 pm and will also feature jam sessions open to all.

Entrance is free.

Call 0725 555 999 for directions and reservations.

The sessions will be recorded live..

5 FOR 5

A wildlife conservation Promotion event dubbed 5 for 5 will be happening this labor day at the Nairobi National Park.

The main goal of the event is to conserve our animals and celebrate Kenyan artist. Performing Live will be awards winning and well traveled artists; Winyo, Sarabi, The villagers Band, Dela and Atemi.

Early bird tickets are going for 1,500 at ticketsasa.com

Gates will be opened @ 3 PM and performances scheduled to start at 5 PM.

As you have noted, Leo Mkanyia has appeared in almost all the musical events. This is because Mkanyia, is in the country as part of the East Africa Music Xchange by Roots International in collaboration with Live at The Elephant and The GoDown Gig.

Nyakenya Wairimu

Friday, 10 April 2015

REBOUND !...

Rebound.. a reactionary behavior mostly known of men who hop from one relationship to another instead of staying holed up, hidden from the world in order to heal from the previous relationship.

internet sources

How it happens

He claims that he loves you then like in most relationships, you fight and instead of him staying to fight for your relationship, he sets off for the sales display shelves advertising a post for a new woman and of-course new sex.

internet sources

Why it happens

It is said that men react differently to heartbreaks than us women, that they do not go crying and venting out to their friends, mothers or drowning their feelings in bar after bar of chocolate like we do for the fear of being ridiculed because it is something that is not acceptable in the man's world. Instead, he seeks some other woman in the blink of an eye (as it appears to us women) to divert his attention, both emotionally and sexually. The other myth of the rebound story is that when a partner rebounds, it does not mean that their feelings never went down and deep as yours. That he rushed to the next woman; just to retain his sanity, to help him heal/soothe the wounds of his broken relationship and help him get back to the unruffled man he is supposed to be in the society. Whichever explanations and reasons you are going to give as to why men moved on too fast, it is expected to hurt the woman with whom you had your previous relationship with, she is obviously going to feel betrayed by you and feel that you disrespected the time that you both had together.

How do you know you are in a rebound relationship?

There are many ways of telling that your partner got you duped into a rebound relationship for maybe the above mentioned reason or others known to him and has got nothing to do with you.In most cases, the 'rebounder' does not know that he is in a rebound relationship. Here is how to figure out which kind of relationship you are in:

~Your date is quick to commit and with the tendency of projecting you as a couple in front of his friends. This should not make you thank heavens (yet) that finally your Mrs/Mr.Right is here because like I said, it could be because of their needs, which have got nothing to do with you.

~He seems eager to date.This could be as a result of him not wanting to take personal responsibility on the previous relationship which could stall his development of qualities which could make him a better partner.

~His friends seem surprised that he is dating already? Well darling, you are a reboundee'.

internet sources

~The time he took from his previous relationship to yours and if he acts like both of you are an old couple rather than people who just recently started dating.

~The rush judgement that he gives in form of compliments is mingi mingi instead of him taking time to get to know you and fall for you in the right way. Be warned because this could be him comparing you with his ex.

~Is your relationship often physical and not emotional? He puts up a wall every time you try to dig deeper into his emotions? This should be an indicator that your date is not ready for a serious relationship.

~He is still bitter and can't help himself muttering 'women are gold diggers' or any other form of anger not directed to his ex but rather to the female gender. This means your Knight in Shining Armour is broken and still has got some healing to do and that is what you are helping him do. Heal them.

Conclusion

internet sources

Well not so many people are blessed with partners as fresh as the morning dew. If your relationship is of this kind, there is no cause for alarm though because even a rebound relationship when detected early, can be worked on and made as healthy and sustainable just like the other relationships.

If you find yourself being the rebound', talk to your partner to be convinced that he is ready to move on to avoid the confusion and distrust that you could unconsciously/consciously develop.While still at it, make sure to bring patience' along with you because you will be needing a lot of it.

Nyakenya Wairimu

Love comes slow but it goes

Thursday, 2 April 2015

KITE_NGE NYERI

Kitenge, from the swahili word kitengele is an east African cotton fabric which comes in distinctive patterns and colors.

Tomorrow marks the beginning of the Easter. For most Kenyans esp Nairobians, its time to travel upcountry. My today's outfit tells it all. I am uber excited and looking forward for my road trip to Nyeri town. The town with most of my childhood & teenage memories, the place of my birth and most of my upbringing, school etc

Yellow is the dominant color to mean am all sunny about Easter, reds in this case represents my heart to mean I hearts' Nyeri town, the people I will be with. Am even being tempted to organize a meet up to make the crowd bigger but most of my friends have either moved, married with kids or speaking a different language from the 'let's party' language.

I Can't wait to try out the new places I've heard about but mostly what am looking forward to is retracing my roots back the memory lane; Ruring'u Stadium for late afternoon walks, Farmer's Choice next to soko mjinga for the best Kebabs, Petrines for freshly baked cakes and tamu yogurt, Ripples Cafe for the most delicious and spicy chips masala. a restaurant right opposite Equity bank(sadly I can't remember it's name) for the best yummy egg-balls and Impala club, Cocoa pub, Bells and Banana leaf where I did most of my unwinding' back in the days. .

Happy Easter people, safe journey/flights to your Easter destinations, enjoy yourselves, stay safe and don't drink and drive.

Nyakenya Wairimu

Wednesday, 25 March 2015

BELT UP!

How have y'all been!It's been a while right?!

I know I do not blog about fashion as much as it is one of the things I have passion for. Since there is a 'first time' for everything, I decided to deep my legs in and share my yesterday's outfit here.

Like many women, I do buy clothes that I end up not wearing(but eventually do as it is the case here :)) simply because they need me to go through my wardrobe or go out looking for other pieces that they would perfectly marry with.That is what my yesterday's outfit was comprised of.. things that I bought some while back but have never worn them.

A navy blue pencil skirt, hot pink blouse, a silver tone obi kimono belt, black ribbon lace up high heels and my black handbag.

The End result

Nyakenya Wairimu

Pictures taken by Sitini njoroge and Ingabire Giscard