REBOUND !...

Rebound.. a reactionary behavior mostly known of men who hop from one relationship to another instead of staying holed up, hidden from the world in order to heal from the previous relationship.

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How it happens

 He claims that he loves you then like in most relationships, you fight and instead of him staying to fight for your relationship, he sets off  for the sales display shelves advertising a post for a new woman and of-course new sex. 

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Why it happens

It is said that men react differently to heartbreaks than us women, that they do not go crying and venting out to their friends, mothers or drowning their feelings in bar after bar of chocolate like we do for the fear of being ridiculed because it is something that is not acceptable in the man's world. Instead, he seeks some other woman in the blink of an eye (as it appears to us women) to divert his attention, both emotionally and sexually. The other myth of the rebound story is that when a partner rebounds, it does not mean that their feelings never went down and deep as yours. That he rushed to the next woman; just to retain his sanity, to help him heal/soothe the wounds of his broken relationship and help him get back to the unruffled man he is supposed to be in the society. Whichever explanations and reasons you are going to give as to why men moved on too fast, it is expected to hurt the woman with whom you had your previous relationship with, she is obviously going to feel betrayed by you and feel that you disrespected the time that you both had together. 



How do you know you are in a rebound relationship? 

There are many ways of telling that your partner got you duped into a rebound relationship for maybe the above mentioned reason or others known to him and has got nothing to do with you.In most cases, the 'rebounder' does not know that he is in a rebound relationship. Here is how to figure out which kind of relationship you are in:

~Your date is quick to commit and with the tendency of projecting you as a couple in front of his friends. This should not make you thank heavens (yet) that finally your Mrs/Mr.Right is here because like I said, it could be because of their needs, which have got nothing to do with you. 

~He seems eager to date.This could be as a result of him not wanting to take personal responsibility on the previous relationship which could stall his development of qualities which could make him a better partner.

~His friends seem surprised that he is dating already? Well darling, you are a reboundee'.

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~The time he took from his previous relationship to yours and if he acts like both of you are an old couple rather than people who just recently started dating. 

~The rush judgement  that he gives in form of compliments is mingi mingi instead of him taking time to get to know you and fall for you in the right way. Be warned because this could be him comparing you with his ex.

~Is your relationship often physical and not emotional? He puts up a wall every time you try to dig deeper into his emotions? This should be an indicator that your date is not ready for a serious relationship.

~He is still bitter and can't help himself muttering 'women are gold diggers' or any other form of anger not directed to his ex but rather to the female gender. This means your Knight in Shining Armour is broken and still has got some healing to do and that is what you are helping him do. Heal them.

Conclusion

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Well not so many people are blessed with partners as fresh as the morning dew. If your relationship is of this kind, there is no cause for alarm though because even a rebound relationship when detected early, can be worked on and made as healthy and sustainable just like the other relationships. 

If you find yourself being the rebound', talk to your partner to  be convinced that he is ready to move on to avoid the confusion and distrust that you could unconsciously/consciously develop.While still at it, make sure to bring patience' along with you because you will be needing a lot of it.

Nyakenya Wairimu 

Love comes slow but it goes